From August 2013..

So the lines that you will read below no way displays my life around in 2013. Though I was not a saint in any way, I was still sober during that time. These lines are a part of many pages written for my so called debut novel. Now that child has grown up, dreams have died, I don't think I will be completing any of three novels started.

Read ahead!

And we went around driving, singing, abusing our past life, talking to air, breathing it fully inside. I was lost in the moment as I wanted to be. Chirag was handling the beautiful four wheels machine like a whore, changing its gears with his rough and hard hand. I am not a crazy car lover but there are some cars that should be handled with smoothness and touched with care. We had travelled almost thirty-forty kilometres and now we were on a highway! The joy of being on a highway was no less than my first time on a single bed with another naked body. I was scared because of the recklessness and the speed at which Chirag was driving, but soon powder started showing its true effects. I was no more scared and I was free. I was free of all barriers, relationships, love-hate and jealously. I belonged to no caste, creed or religion. I was ready to fly in the infinite sky!

Chetan was showing us some cool smoking tricks and we were laughing like sluts. There was no fear of police as we were on a deserted highway and it was very rare to find anyone here in khaki-vardi. It was bright day under the hot sun, so even this heat restricted police from coming in this area. They ventured out mostly during late nights to get hold on maximum number of pimps, customers and drug dealers.

Shashank took out some more powder and took a deep inhale. He was acting like a Mexican drug lord bringing all those unnecessary facial expressions. My eyes moved back to Chetan who was now semi nude, moving his body like a drunken mujarewali. His movements reminded me of the ‘dil cheez kya hai’ night. He had removed his shirt and he was in the process of removing his pants when Shashank handed him some powder and he got busy. I opened a beer cane and lighted up a cigarette. John Lennon was singing ‘I am a dreamer’ and we all joined him in begging for world peace. I was enjoying this drive with these monsters, 

I was happy to be in the place where I belong. Rashi’s face crossed my eyes but I was brought back to real world by Chetan’s orgasm sounds. I looked around and felt good to be away from disturbing memories.

Shashank who was sitting beside me asked Chetan to lower down the music. While Chetan was still busy in pleasuring himself, Chirag moved the sound controlling wheel of the music system 180 degree anti-clockwise. As soon as Music was dead, we could only hear the sound of air passing by our ears. Suddenly, Shashank started talking absolute nonsense-

“Guys I am really thankful to God that he has given me fuckers like you...no ass can be safe with you people. May we all rest in hell” he said as he patted by my left shoulder for two times. There was something hidden in Shashank’s eyes and words that I couldn’t see.

My mind wanted to know that in what context Shashank was saying all this but my heart refused for any logical support. For that moment it looked good. While I and Chirag got a little emotional and smiled within ourselves, Chetan had reached the horny stage of his orgasm.

I wish Shashank had not said last line. To get over my thoughts, I finished my beer in one go!

As it is not cool for guys to get emotional as per the modern thinking so Chirag also tasted powder! As I was about to throw the beer cane out of the window, I saw an orange vehicle coming from other side of one way highway. I was sitting right behind Chirag. It was a heavy, massive demon truck! What kind of highway is this? I asked myself. Within some seconds we reached near that vehicle.

’Music was loud and boys were drunk’

A bright sun was above me. I was trying to breathe hard but I couldn’t suck in more oxygen. I was suffocating! Air was hot around me and I could smell rusted metal and blood! I was in pain. I couldn’t move my body and not even my tongue. But I could feel the flow of saliva out of my broken mouth. Was this one of my crazy psychic dream? No it was not a dream, probably I was lying on a hot solid road, maybe it is a highway, the same highway we took this same morning...oh fuck!

I could feel blood flowing out of my body and touching my crushed fingers. My body was not ready to move but I needed to move and help some dying bodies around me.